GET THE RIGHT COACHING AND TURN YOUR MARRIAGE AROUND!!!
Thinking about divorce?
Do you feel absolutely "fed up" with your marriage? Do you feel you can no longer tolerate it?
Are you feeling hopeless, discouraged and unhappy? Are you really angry at your husband? Now that the euphoria of love has faded, do you feel you married the wrong person?
I know all about it. Marriage can be SO divine when things are going well... but SO hellish when things are going wrong.
Many times, we are tempted to think that divorce is the solution - "If I could just get rid of him, my troubles would disappear!", I hear you saying.
The Divorce Trap
However, evidence shows us what happens is exactly the opposite. With divorce comes loss of finances, custody battles, emotional scars for everyone involved, and many future fights between the children and the new spouse, in case of remarriage.
In fact, statistics show us that while the divorce rate for 1st marriages has reached 50%, that of 2nd marriages is higher: 60-65%! And guess what? For third marriages, it's even higher: 70-75% ! (These figures refer to the US. In Europe, divorce rate for 1st marriages range from 68% in Belarus to 39% in Kazakhstan). (Sources: http://standforyourmarriage.org, http://cozay.com, http://www.divorce.com).
And if you thought it was difficult to agree with your husband on how to raise your children, picture doing that when they go to be with him on weekends and you have absolutely no control of what happens there. And if it bothered you sometimes how your husband handled your children, imagine when it's the step-father or the step-mother who yells at them... that will bring up a whole new set of worries and anxieties that you haven't even begin to imagine! Trust me, I know, I've seen far too many examples all around me.
It is widely recognized by numerous studies that the consequences of divorce impact almost all aspects of a child’s life, including the child's emotions and behavior, psychological development, coping skills, and parent-child relationship And once they grow up and enter into marriage, they have a much higher probability of divorcing than children from intact families.
Additionally, it's been well documented that the vast majority of cases of child abuse occur in single-parent families. Why? Because the parents find themselves overwhelmed.
One more thing, if you are secretly fantasising about causing as much harm as possible to your husband, remember that if you destroy the man you call your husband, you're also destroying the man your children call father. He's the man they look up to, the man they will try to emulate.
So, if you are contemplating divorcing as a panacea for all your troubles, let me dissuade you from this option. Once you get married, you truly get married for life - because the footprints of that person will always show up in your life.
Instead, there is a true solution to marital problems: FIX YOUR MARRIAGE !!
This is not a daunting task, it's not an impossibility, it is much easier than you think!
Instead of paying a small fortune to lawyers to go through a divorce, why not invest a tiny fraction of that into coaching?
Your home, your family, your children, your well-being, your future, your children's future, and even your grand-children's future are at stake... If you ignite the love flame again in your marriage, everybody in your family will benefit from it. This is exactly something that is worth fighting for! This is the area where you want to leave a great legacy. Perhaps you received a terrible legacy in this respect, but you can be the turning point in your lineage and change your whole family's future by what you do now.
Don't throw away what you have already built
Have you realized that you have already built up a lot and have a lot to be proud of? You already found and chose your spouse. You have children. You have a home, a family. You have worked together. You have savings together. You have memories together.
And yes, you also have problems together. But these problems are not there because you chose the wrong person - NO! In the middle of a marriage crisis, we ALL think this way. But this is not true! You chose this person carefully and, in fact, he is the PERFECT person for you. The reason why you were attracted to him is because you both suffer from complementary deficiencies and see the world in similar ways... even if now you would disagree 100% with that statement.
The source of your problems, is not him.... it is BOTH of you. You BOTH need to grow, to expand, to learn what your roles, your rights, and your duties are. You both need to heal your hearts and your psyches. Think about it: We've all been hurt through the passage of time, and the more hurt we are, the less we are able to GIVE love and the more we NEED love. When you put together two people who are constantly in NEED of love, but unable to GIVE love... how can things work out well?
But what if your husband doesn't want to or does not see the need for coaching? This doesn't matter, because a relationship is based on the dynamics of two people. So, as soon as ONE person changes, the whole relationship changes.
Turn this crisis into an opportunity: it's your chance to grow!
A relationship without problems is not a genuine relationship. The problems you are experiencing were INEVITABLE and part of life. But what you do with them, it's up to you. Do you know that you can even find joy and peace in your problems? Problems help us reach a new levels of abundance, of joy, of peace, of empowerment, of freedom...
Giving up on your marriage will only weaken you as a person. The lesson learned will be to run away from your problems. This way, you cannot grow. Alternatively, many people simply stay in a mediocre marriage all their lives. This way they don't experience the joy, love or growth that an excellent marriage can bring.
But learning what makes us mad, how to overcome frustration, how not to place so many expectations on our spouse but on ourselves, how to set boundaries with our spouses, when to give in and when not to, how to love our spouse but not depend emotionally on him, how to give real love... these are skills that will make you grow as a person.
These are skills you will then be able to use in any situation: with your colleagues, with your boss, with your children, with your girlfriends, with your parents. These are skills which will enable you to have A FULFILLING, SATISFYING AND EXCITING LIFE!
Get the right tools
But HOW?? Of course, to do this you need tools!
That's right. To fix a sink, you need tools. To fix a business problem, you need tools. To fix a marriage, you need tools. And this is what marriage coaching is all about: to give you the tools you need to fix your own marriage.
We spend many years going to school to learn all about biology, mathematics, history, geography, etc. However, we have received practically NO education concerning managing a marriage. At best, we have the example of our parents, which many times was far from being excellent or perhaps ended in divorce. How, then, can we expect to know how to manage ours well?
What can you do if the communication between you has become a source of pain? What if you have given love but are only receiving suffering back? What should you do when your spouse is disrespecting you? What can you do when your spouse is not supplying your needs? What is your response to your spouse when he is in a bad mood? What should you do when your husband starts to criticize you? How can you get a message across to him?
So many times we are depending on our spouse to supply all of our needs: emotional, physical, and spiritual. But the fact is that no human being can do that for us.
What is at the root of your marriage problems? Do you have low self-esteem or lack self-confidence? Or on the contrary, do you tend to be domineering, manipulative, and over-powering? Are you possessive and jealous?
To be able to love your husband, you need to love yourself and to know yourself, your limits, your strengths. You need to be able to release your anger and frustration in a proper way, to re-energize yourself, to eliminate the emotional baggage that you carry from your past. In fact, you cannot depend on anyone on this earth to make you happy.
When you have the right tools and the right perspective, then you can have an excellent marriage: a marriage of mutual respect, of mutual freedom, of mutual satisfaction; a marriage where you can enjoy each other, experience romantic love, celebrate each other's uniqueness and be each other's refuge and best friend. This is QUALITY OF LIFE. Not just for yourself, but also for your children and spouse. This will provide a solid ground on which they can stand on firmly and flourish. This is worth everything!
And believe me, because I've been there, when you are able to fix your marriage and your life, you will feel like a MILLION BUCKS!
What qualifies me to help you?
I, too, found myself in a shabby marriage, on an emotional roller-coaster and very unhappy with my life. I, too, know what it is like to realize that my husband had gone from being my best friend in graduate school to being my worst enemy a few years down the line. And I, too, thought there was no solution to our marriage.
However, what I discovered was that if "I" changed, the whole marriage could change. And little by little, step by step, we turned our marriage around. I can now tell you that our marriage is better than ever, and it just keeps improving every day. It has become a source of joy and energy, and we are now truly best friends and passionate lovers!
Over the past 7 years, I have worked with married women of diverse educational backgrounds, nationalities and socio/economic situations, who all longed for true love and a great marriage, but who were experiencing pain and suffering. Some had been in a disastrous marriage for more than 20 years. Others had only been married for 2 years, but were experiencing hopelessness and disappointment. Others had divorced 3 times in the hope of finding the ideal man. Some projected a perfect family picture, but were suffering in silence. What my work with them has shown me is that although we experience marriage problems for different reasons and in different ways, we can all be helped!
I became a certified Professional Coach in order to offer a more effective help to women in need. My passion in life is to help women succeed in their marriages and in their lives, by enabling them to develop self-esteem and self-confidence. I believe coaching is an extremely powerful tool, much more so than counselling or consulting, because the coach does not play the role of expert in the person's life; the coach is not there to provide the answers for you, but rather to elicit the answers that are in your heart. We are there to provide you with the right questions, accountability, emotional support, enthusiasm, and keep you focused on your goals.
My coaching is suported by biblical principles and I am a Senior Ambassador at SRL Ministries where I support my husband in helping people live the abundant life that Jesus died to give us. I have an MBA and work part-time as a head-hunter for the Insurance industry. I have been married for 15 years and have two children. Having lived in 3 different continents throughout my life, I can relate very well to people of different cultures. I can coach in English, Spanish and French. I am passionate about what I do and strongly desire to help you achieve
AN EXCELLENT MARRIAGE!
My final feedback for Barbara is one of thanks, respect, acknowledgement and achievement. We struck a wonderful rapport on our sessions, which instantly gave a feeling of safety, security and the freedom to be myself, be honest, be vulnerable and the feeling that I am respected and accepted. As a result of working with her, my marriage changed dramatically for the better. I recommend her whole heartedly!
(C. Maate, New Zealand)
The coaching has been life changing. It has helped me to improve my life as a woman, my marriage and to change many bad habits of wrong thinking about people and about myself. My coach always helped me and motivated me to find a solution to my problems and always gave me a lot of motivation, understanding and encouragement. She is a very wise and intelligent woman and I could learn a lot from her, especially because she was open to sharing similar circumstances of her own life and that gave me a lot of hope.
(L. Schweizer, Switzerland)
I think that if I would have to name everything that I have learned during these 3 months with Barbara, I would have to write a book! Nevertheless, I will sum up in a few words what has struck me the most:
- It has given me a much wider perspective over myself
- I have discovered that when one identifies the cause of a problem or the circumstances around it, one is able to work through them and achieve radical change.
- I have learned that what seems unreachable is sometimes only due to our limited way of thinking. With my coach, I have been able to untie many "knots", something I never thought possible
- I feel very energized and capable thanks to the coach's guidance and instructions to confront and overcome my weaknesses
I have gone through tremendous growth. With my coach, a new world has opened up to me. I have learned to analyze situations and find solutions, to set challenges for myself and not to be passive. My coach encompassed characteristics of mother, psychologist, friend, guide and instructor. I really enjoyed this experience: it has been excellent and thoroughly positive. In fact, I believe each person should have a coach!
(R. Medina, Chile)
Don't wait any longer - Create a new marriage!!
ALL SESSIONS ARE BY PHONE OR SKYPE. YOU MAY BE LOCATED ANYWHERE AROUND THE GLOBE.
Send me an email at Barbara@SRLMinistries.org and tell me about your situation.
TOGETHER WE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE !! GUARANTEED !!
Remember, you are NOT doing this for your husband.
You are doing this for yourself and your children!
THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE DEPENDS
ON THE QUALITY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE OF THESE
IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HUSBAND !!
ACT NOW. INVEST IN YOURSELF. YOUR LIFE IS WORTH IT!